The 'taser' dog

Here's another funny story, although not from the too distant past. Actually, this culminated about a year ago, last Halloween. What led up to it, however, lasted more than a year.

There once lived a dog down the street, a male golden retriever. You think golden, you think sweet, friendly dog, right? Well, this particular one was the mangiest, meanest golden retriever I have ever dealt with. To the point where when I would walk Hobie, he would come after us. And not just for the normal "sniff your butt and get to know you," he literally would COME AFTER Hobie. 

The dog got loose all the time, I later found out, because the guy who was charged with walking him was blind. Yeah, I know. Remember that important detail, it comes into play later.

So it got to the point where I'd start swinging at the dog with Hobie's pooper scooper to get him to go away. Then the scoop got to where it wasn't big enough. I started walking Hobie with a baseball bat.

I did my best to handle the situation through "unofficial" channels, telling my buddies at the police department about this dog and several other strays and loose dogs that always ran around the neighborhood. There would be weeks of peace, then the golden would get loose again and we'd start over.

On New Year's Day two years ago, the dog was loose again. I went and got the baseball bat and he came up in the driveway and started coming after Hobie. I swung at him – had to swing a couple times – but eventually he ran off, onto a neighbor's porch. I stood in my driveway in the early morning of a holiday (in my bathrobe even) and I could tell the dog was thinking about a second approach. I held the bat out and yelled "Try it again, fucker!" Yeah. Happy New Year, South Lewis Street! Even Hobie was a little shocked by Mom's behavior.

Things finally culminated Halloween night of that same year. The dog was out and I didn't realize it, I didn't have my bat with me. He came after Hobie and I couldn't get him off. Eventually the 7-year-old neighbor boy dressed as Batman (yes, my very own superhero!) yelled at the dog enough to get him to go away. Hobie was unhurt, but the dog did get close enough to get slobber on him and scare him, which was enough for me. No one messes with my baby.

I decided I'd had enough. No more waiting on my buddies at the police department, something needed to be done that night. Immediately. I called 911.

The cop showed up fairly soon and I stood in the driveway and told him what happened – and that this wasn't anywhere near the first time. Of course the dog was nowhere around at that point, so the cop said animal control would be out the next day, blah blah blah. I'd been expecting that so it wasn't a big deal.

But, while he and I were talking, the dog showed up. I don't know what the cop was going to do, but he started walking toward the dog. The dog came after him, he yelled at the dog and before I really knew what happened, the cop tased the dog. Holy crap.

I honestly thought he'd killed the dog. I didn't see anything for a few minutes after he did it. I'm thinking, great. It's Halloween night, there's all kinds of trick-or-treating kids in the neighborhood who will walk past this dead dog and I will be the scurge of the neighborhood. The dog had just run off, however, and would not be seen for at least a week after the "incident." He ran off with the taser leads still in his fur apparently. I feel bad someone's dog got tased, but I have to look out for my own. Like I said, no one messes with my baby. 

I underestimated by neighbors, too. Several came out to see if Hobie was OK (they see me walking him in the neighborhood all the time) and agreed that the golden retriever had been terrorizing the whole neighborhood, not to mention leaving "presents" in their yards. While all this was happening, three more cops showed up in the neighborhood – apparently when anything gets tased, things get a little more complicated for the police. That's probably good.

OK, remember when I said the owner was blind? Well, when the cop interviewed the family, who apparently was home during this whole time, they said the dog was a seeing-eye dog. 

Oh please. If that's a seeing-eye dog, I'm Miss Georgia, which is exactly what I told the cop. He found their story suspicious as well. They also said that a woman from down the street had let the dog out. No one believed that either. 

The dog eventually did return home, like I said, and I will say that after that, the owners did a MUCH BETTER job of keeping him contained in their yard and getting someone else to walk him. 

So other than the other stray dogs who sometimes still frequent the neighborhood, Hobie has been able to do his business in peace. 

The $130 ear

Hobie's ear is finally back to its normal color and I'm weaning his off his prednisone – we're in week 2 of the treatment.

This has been the summer of Hobie's ear problems. I always knew bassets and long-eared dogs could get ear problems (less air gets under there) but it's never been a problem until this year. Earlier this summer, he got a yeast infection in his ear. Yeah, I know. Can you imagine, all that itch and no opposable thumbs?

So last Monday night (at 1:30 a.m.) Hobie was shaking his head so much he woke me up. I went to put the flush stuff in I had leftover from the other infection and when I lifted up his left ear, it was red as a beet. Poor baby! I did what any Mom would do – I got in bed with him and rubbed his ears so he could go to sleep, then hauled his butt to the doctor (vet) the next morning. He made it through most of the night, but threw up when he woke up in the morning. Either he was stressed or he really felt like crap. (Thankfully, as I have mentioned before on here, I do have good carpet cleaner!)

The vet confirmed my diagnosis by taking a swab from Hobie's ear and saying "Eww." Yeah, doc, thanks for the confirmation! It wasn't a yeast infection this time, but his ear WAS full of bacteria. So, we got new ear drops, prednizone for the infection (also known as the "I gotta pee, Mom!!" drug) and a general exam. The vet also aspirated a lump on his back, which turned out to be nothing. Thank God, because those "lumps and bumps" can turn out to be expensive!

I will admit that the visit could have been just a little over $100, but Hobie has needed a bath for a while, so I had them take care of that too. I take him to Petsmart but who can afford a drive out of town these days? Plus, since he's already at the vet, might as well get all the trauma over with at once!

And Hobie has been nice enough to wake me up in the middle of the night so we don't have a "Lake Prednizone" by the door. Good puppy!

'I've never known two people in the same family to fake their own death'

OK when I started this blog I said, "I believe I had an interesting childhood." So, here's a famous story from the Shrader family legend.

When I was growing up, we had a pool in the backyard. Mom was pretty vigilant about keeping an eye on us, but one day, she had to go inside and I was left out in the pool on my own. Shortly thereafter, I decided to see how long I could float. On my stomach. I was a good floater.

I was still "floating" when Mom came back, and for whatever reason, I decided not to get up. I heard Mom call my name. Did nothing. Called again. Nothing. Started walking toward the pool. Still nothing. Started RUNNING toward the pool.

It was only when I heard her footsteps on the deck, screaming and preparing to jump in, that I sat up and laughed. Needless to say, she. was. HOT.

At least two years later (when I'd completely forgotten about what I'd done) Mom had back surgery. It was a big deal – she wound up having the surgery twice, with two different docs. Shortly after, she decided to put contact paper in all the kitchen cabinets. (Yeah, I know.) Dad was "babysitting" but had to run an errand and left me in charge. I told Mom I was gonna take a shower.

Well, when I got back up and went out to check on her, she didn't answer. So I went running and found her, on the floor, with the stool, the paper and the other implements all carefully arranged around her to *look like* she'd fallen. She was laying there, all splayed out. 

As soon as I started screaming and crying, she sat up and said "I TOLD YOU I'D GET YOU BACK!!!"

And she did, man. She did. 

The title comes from when I told a friend this story. She said, "I've never known to people in the same family to fake their own death." LOL! Well, that was my family, what can I say?

Ramblings

There hasn't been much going on around here, except work. I found out most all of the people I know survived Gustav – now I'm just worried about another person I know who was in the path of Ike! He's a firefighter with the Seabrook, Tx., fire department (maybe you heard "Seabrook" mentioned on TV) so it's not like he can just evacuate never to return!! The e-mail he sent out said "last transmission" which is kind of creepy. However I got another one later that said he was evacuating to higher ground. Well, GOOD! At least I know one thing from all the hurricanes I covered – the first responders WILL be taken care of!

The other big news is, my apartment is officially clean. Last weekend I cleaned out my file cabinets, the last "untouched" area of my apartment. I'd been carrying stuff around in those from three states, Illinois, NC and Georgia!! Like, even old utility bills and my lease from my apartment in grad school. That would have been the best apartment, too, if not for the roaches and the family of beetles that turned out to living in my Goodwill couch!

Oh and I have other good news from the depths of my file cabinets. I'd assumed my master's thesis was gone forever, since it was on a disk that I'm pretty sure is so old it can never be opened again. But, for reasons I have no memory of, I apparently made like, 18 copies of it, ALL of which I found in the file cabinet, along with a draft copy and my notes! So if anyone would like a copy of it, I can probably hook you up!

And so, I worry

I can't help but be drawn to the coverage of Gustav this week for a lot of reasons I've already explained. But now I have even more reasons. Kind of like when a storm has its sights set on NC, where I used to live, I know people down on the Gulf. And so, I worry. It's supposed to hit west of NO – at least that's the current track – but I worry. I know someone on the Texas Gulf too!

Most recently, a friend I just recently "found" again – after 15+ years – is living in Biloxi. I don't even know if he's been through anything like this before. There's a couple I know who grew up near NO. They were in college up here during Katrina, but they moved back, to teach and be part of the rebuilding effort. I'm wildly proud of them. Another friend of mine also moved to the Gulf after the storm and is part of the rebuilding effort. And then there's my Texas firefighter friend near Houston.

But mostly I worry about the Bridges, not to mention their family, friends and neighbors, who all live in and around Biloxi. They're in their 80s and hadn't been through anything like Katrina all their lives. It was almost too much for them but with the help of volunteers, they were back in their house less than a year after the storm. Not only do they not need to go through this again (who does, really?) but I'm not sure if they or their little house could take another hit. Part of what motivated me (and others, I'm sure) to go down and help was all those people I'd seen in NC who died waiting for their FEMA checks to come through and their homes to be rebuilt while they were stuck tiny FEMA trailers. We, I, didn't want that to happen again. 

And so, I worry. 

Update

It FINALLY started raining, so my shoulder actually is feeling better. However, I was flipping through the channels a little bit ago and there are TORNADO WARNINGS south and west of here. The hell? I hope they STAY south and west of here!

A friend of mine "gussied up" my blog for me and I also got on Facebook today. I'm now a social networking maniac, hahaha. But, I found someone who I haven't talked to in about 15 years, so isn't that what that's all supposed to be about?

Ow.

So I've had a shoulder problem for almost two years now. I've been to no less than three ortho surgeons, none of whom could exactly pinpoint the problem, but all of whom were excited as hell at the prospect of operating. Well, to hell with that I say, if I'm going to spend the money and time and go through the pain, you'd better know in advance what you're going to be digging around in there for. 

After trying physical therapy and all forms of medications, it's just about down to a tolerable level, EXCEPT when there's any kind of storm front nearby. Let's just say I have a new reason to HATE hurricanes now. Stupid Fay. Wish she'd make up her mind and get out of here. But if I'm going through this much pain (to the point where I have an earache and my eyes feel like they're going to fly out of my head) it BETTER rain here so we can at least get something out of it!!!

I have a Myspace

Ever since I got this computer I've been wanting to get a Myspace page. But I've been waiting to find some pictures of myself since I was afraid if I made a page without a picture, people would think I was a stalker – or a cyborg. 

Finally though, it's done! And I have to admit the other part of the process that scared me was "inviting" friends. I have enough trouble getting people just to post on here, much less accept a friend invitation! But I already have EIGHT friends, including former coworkers, new friends and Captain Andy Hillstrand from FVA Time Bandit on "Deadliest Catch" on the Discovery Channel. So, I feel special! Ha!

Anyway, (almost forgot) the link is www.myspace.com/multifacetedwoman. Yeah, I know, but all the ones with my name were taken  (weird) and as soon as I figure out all the editing options I plan to show just how multifaceted I am. So there.

You may notice I also got pictures up on this blog – finally. Isn't Hobie just the cutest thing??? :)

Memories

So I tuned in to the NASCAR race, which is in Brooklyn, Mich., this week. In the intro on ESPN, they showed downtown Brooklyn, which brought back huge memories for me. When I was a kid, I spent every summer there, visiting my great uncle Paul. He was a sweet guy – when I see Colonel Potter on M*A*S*H, he reminds me of him. 

Didn't see the Dairy Queen where we used to walk every day and didn't recognize any shop names, but it looks like Brooklyn still has its Norman Rockwell downtown. It was nice to see it. 

Get that old man off my television

I wish John McCain would stop using the phrase "my friends" when he talks. I am NOT his friend and I think that's awfully presumptuous! 

It's an ASP baton

The things you learn at a Citizens' Police Academy! 

I promised I wouldn't talk about work on this blog (much) but this is too good not to share. I was at the Citizens' Police Academy in Hogansville and the topic was deadly force. The instructor, a cop I know pretty well (thank God) kept talking about his baton, but he called it an ASP baton. Don't know what that stands for, but apparently it's the brand name.

But it sounded like something else! I passed a note to a friend of mine in the class, saying "It sounds like he's saying 'ass baton.' That can't be right!" 

Funny thing was, once the note was shared several others in the class had thought the same thing!!

Reports of my retirement are greatly exaggerated

I wrote a column this week about my mom retiring from Wal-Mart. Huge news in Shrader-land, since the store has been my mom's life – and her second home – for almost 20 years. 

But the  headline on the column, which I didn't write, said "Leaving a job that has been her home," causing at least ONE, and probably MORE people to think I am the one who's leaving! By the time I saw it, it was too late to do anything about it.

Oh well, maybe it'll make people appreciate me more!

In search of a connection

The neighbors' Internet has been down for the past day or so, which has made it interesting to get my stories e-mailed to the office. In fact, between the maintenance crew finishing the remodel of the duplex next door and the disabled Internet, I'm actually AT the office this afternoon. 

Regular readers will remember I'm actually hooked up to my neighbors' wireless with their BLESSING, I'm not stealing it! I talked to them at noon today and it's down for them too, but it's going to get fixed tonight.

This morning, though, I had to come to the office and put my last story in I wrote last night after the Internet died. Then when I finished a column my boss needed, I had to find somewhere in town to "hijack" a signal. This is where things get interesting – I went to the chamber of commerce where I'd been able to hook up before and it didn't work. So, I went out to the parks and rec building – I'd discovered Monday they have a free, public wireless signal, bless their hearts. 

It doesn't work from the parking lot, though, I discovered this morning! So I walked in with my laptop open, like the "Can you hear me now?" dude, and plopped down in the lobby. When the receptionist saw me I said, "Hi, I'm from the paper and I'm hear to hijack your wireless!" She laughed and said go right ahead! Their signal was working, thankfully, and I sent my story and went happily on my way :)

Fini.

The house FINALLY is clean. Friday night, I finished the dining room, two closets and the living room. I've been using the trash can belonging to the empty apartment next door, so this is good timing. The new renter is about to move in, so now she can have her trash can! I've filled it and mine twice during this whole process, it feels good to purge. I also found some things I'd been missing. 

Today I've been resting my back and shoulder all day – the work wore me out!

What. A. Day.

I got everything done I needed to get done – and frankly, I'm stunned!

Doctor's appointment first thing in the morning, then checked in at work, then my landlord called and said the plumber was at the apartment next door RIGHT THEN, so if I wanted him to address my problem, I needed to go RIGHT THEN. So I did, and I stood in the driveway with Hobie sweating like a freak for at least a half an hour while he did his thing in my apartment. (Since Hobie hates men, I have to get him and vacate the house for stuff like that. The pest control man and I have each others' cell numbers!) When I came in the house to get Hobie, though, he greeted me by throwing up at my feet in the hallway. He doesn't normally do that on command, so to speak, so I don't know what's up there but I hope it resolved itself! It was almost like he was saying "Hi Mom! Here's something else for you to clean up before you leave!! Thank God I have really good carpet cleaner.

Once that was done, I went back to work to grab all my stuff (didn't realize the plumber would take that long) and raced to West Point, where I stood outside and sweated some more while a bike tour came through town. You can read about that at fullercenterbiketrip.com. I met Millard Fuller in 2003 when he still was with Habitat for Humanity. Another reporter got to meet former President Jimmy Carter, who also came through town, and I admit, initially I was jealous. Now I firmly believe I got the better end of the deal!

Swung back by the office and called CSX to report a broken railroad crossing I'd passed on the way in and made sure I had everything I need to write the bike tour story on my laptop this afternoon. Then later I'm headed BACK to West Point for a meeting tonight. I just hope it's inside, with air conditioning.

Good News!

My house is no longer a Superfund site – or a science experiment! I'm not totally done, but the bathroom, bedroom, kitchen and hall closet are all clean. It was long overdue. Now I just have the dining room and living room left to go – although I did get the living room to the point where the mess I made from the Great Receipt Hunt of '08 is picked up and I can see the floor again. One trash can outside is now full (Mom would be so proud, I threw away 6 pairs of shoes) and now I'll be filling the one that belongs to the empty apartment next door. 

Now the question is, will I be able to take enough Advil to be able to sleep tonight? I'm already hurting!

NASCAR update

Can I just say, I would LOVE to see someone OTHER than Kyle Busch win a race? It's not that I'm not a fan of his (although I'm not) it's just a little boring to watch a race and have it end the same way every week!

Is that too much to ask??

Update – Sunday night: FINALLY. Someone else did! Never thought I'd say this, but thank you Jimmie Johnson!

No more excuses

OK I have to clean this weekend, I cannot put it off any longer. See, Monday is the day we turn in our monthly mileage and expense reports at work. A while back I bought a card to go in the camera that belongs to the office. I spent a good part of tonight turning half the house upside down looking for the receipt! It's only $12, but hey, that's $12!! Considering our mileage reimbursement is only a whopping 27 cents a mile – yeah, I know – $12 is a lot of money!! That's almost two trips to Hogansville – ha! 

Something to think about

I make it a point to limit contact with anyone under the age of 18. So I was a little surprised when something a 14-year-old wrote made me want to be a better person. 

My friend's daughter also has a blog and my friend sent me her latest entry. It's about being grateful. Two weeks ago, the girl had spinal fusion surgery to correct scoliosis, terrifying enough but made moreso by a heart condition she's had since birth. She is doing well. And despite the routine trips to the heart doctors (and now, spine doctors) she's put up with all her life and other limitations that've been handed to her, she feels grateful. When her mother asked her if, given all her challenges, she felt that life had treated her unfairly, the girl made a face and said, "Why would I think that?"

My friend said, "Oh, I don't know, it was just a conversation starter!" It hadn't even occurred to the girl to be upset about everything she's had to overcome. When she found out her surgery had to be moved up and she'd be unable to participate in sports this year, she cried, as you'd expect any 14-year-old to do. Then she got over it with a quickness I don't see in most 30+-year-olds I know. Myself included. 

Her blog talked about how she lived in America and had a roof over her head and water "purified 10 times over" to drink and how, if she lived in Africa, she'd likely be dead or crippled for life. And it was all genuine, she didn't do it to impress or kiss up to anyone. 

Makes ya think, doesn't it?

Ahhh, hurricanes....

It's hurricane season and we've made it up to D: Dolly. I've said this before – and I know people think I'm batshit crazy – but I sort of miss hurricanes. 

I'm sure if I'd lived any closer to the beach than I did in North Carolina, I'd feel differently, although an hour and 15 minutes away turned out to be plenty close enough more than once. 

I guess, being a reporter, a hurricane (or other such disaster) is a huge EVENT. Everything else goes out the window. Reschedule that council meeting, cancel that festival and for the love of God, let the kids out of school – although one superintendent I covered famously waited until the *night before* to call school off, the storm practically was *there* when he finally decided. That's the night another editor of mine came up with his famous phrase: "People are stupid. That's MY motto."

I've also found that hurricanes (and other disasters) are great equalizers. When the power goes out, it's out for everyone. When the storm floods the roads, *no one* is getting in or out of town, no matter how special you are. 

I don't know what I'd do if my North Carolina town got hit by a major hurricane again, although I know the odds are great that it will happen. When my homeland (Illinois) got hit by floods last month, I nearly lost my mind wanting to be there. There's part of me that *still* wants to go up and see the aftermath, if I didn't know that my mother (not to mention my BOSS) would shoot me. 

Hobie loves the bank

It's a day or two late, but I have to tell this story. My mileage check came Saturday morning, so I put Hobie in the car and headed for the bank drive-through to deposit it. Hobie loves any trip that's not to the vet or groomer, and he's quite fascinated by the fact that the lady on the other side of the glass talks to him. He climbs up in my lap – yep, all 60 pounds of him – to get a closer look.

Well, I can never change banks, because they've started handing out dog treats at the drive through!! How cute! These were heart-shaped, and Hobie's usually really picky about treats. In fact, he won't usually take a treat unless it comes from "Mom." Or whomever just walked him, if I had to have someone else do it. He doesn't take candy from strangers, what can I say? 

I put it on the seat with him and started the drive back – I figured I'd just give it to him when we got home. Well, apparently, he just needed to "warm it up" first – he sat on it for a while, then he started looking for it and ate just about all of it! I found a little piece in the seat this morning, I guess he's saving that for his next trip!

One more thing

I parked in the pregnant/moms with kids spot at Kroger today. And it's the second time I've done it. Hope I don't get a rumor going!!

Awww

It's Monday morning and I *need* to get ready for work, but Hobie is passed out next to me on the couch and I'm just sitting here staring at him, thinking about how damn cute he is!! 

Is this what it's like when you have children??

I'm back!

So, loyal readers (all two of you!) may have noticed this blog was untouched for a couple of days. Well, we had a technical issue, that being my neighbors' wireless was down for two days! No, I'm not *stealing* it, they let me hook on with their knowledge and blessing. Still, I felt weird crossing the driveway to let them know I was no longer able to take advantage of the free service! It was fixed this morning though – I think they had to reset their router, at least according to *my* diagnostics! – so, we're back! 

Anyway, I figured this was a sign that I should take the weekend and finally clean my apartment, which I've needed to do for a while, now. Instead, I stopped at the bookstore and got two books to get me through the weekend! I finished them last night, so thank God, the Internet's back up! I have to say though, the first book was a biography of the two brothers who run the "Time Bandit," one of the boats on the Discovery Channel's "Deadliest Catch." Don't know if you've seen it, but this show definitely is "must-see TV"!! The other book is called "Look me in the Eye!" and it's written by the brother of Augusten Burroughs, one of my FAVORITE authors. This book is just as good, it's about his brother's lifelong struggle with Asperger's Syndrome. It also gives a different (slightly) account of the brothers' childhood, which Burroughs has documented in his books, most notably "Running with Scissors" which was made into a movie. 

As far as other things that happened while I was "away," I went Thursday to the visitation and Friday to the funeral of a lady in West Point who was a fan of my writing, even before I knew who she was. "Mama Dot" was a sweet lady and I'm glad I got to go and honor her and spend time with her family. She left me a message one day not too long ago, complimenting me on a story. I saved it (I try to save all my "good" messages) and I'm very glad I did. 

On the yard....

My landlord finally had our grass cut today. Thank God, it was about up to my knees! From the way the yard looks now I think the crew is going to have to come back tomorrow and bale it.

Hobie's fine. Today.

Hobie managed to get through the night without needing to go to the vet. I'm still sort of surprised. I'm not kidding when I say he's NEVER spontaneously stopped on his own – without the help of tranquilizers!! (Yes, he's 60 pounds, so it's always a *race* to get him back to the house before he passed out totally and I have to carry him!)

If he had gone to the vet, it would be his second trip in a month. His last visit was July 3. That came about after he'd been shaking his head excessively for a while. Both my neighbor dogs have gotten burst blood vessels in their ears doing that, so I kept telling him to stop it. Hematomas are messy, not to mention expensive to fix! Then I got a letter from a friend who said her dog was shaking her head, so they went to the vet and the dog (Lucy) had a yeast infection in her ears.

Ick, I know, but I thought, "Hmm...perhaps I should get Hobie checked out." Since I was facing a long holiday weekend I didn't want the poor baby to suffer any longer, so when I left work I loaded him up in the car and took him to the vet as a "walk in." It's not a walk-in clinic, but I am a regular customer, and it's not like I was asking for minor surgery. Anyway, sure enough, "raging yeast infection." Vet's words. 

I felt SO BAD for not taking him sooner. Can you imagine – all that itch and no opposable thumbs!! But after a week of twice a day "flushes" which he hated, and subsequent ear massages (which he loves) he quit shaking his head. I suppose he's forgiven me.

Oh Hobie, not again

My dog has gastric reflux. Yeah, I know, only my dog would have gastric reflux. He makes this noise like he's choking and, oddly, licks the carpet. Or eats grass if we're outside. Usually, I have to take him to the vet immediately to get it stopped. No matter what the time of day. Or night. Luckily, I have an awesome vet. 

I just took him out and he started making the noise and eating grass. Oddly enough when we got inside he stopped and even ate something. I swear, that is the first time that's happened. I must be living right lately. And thank God, because I don't have a spare $150 sitting around to pay for his "off-hours" visit to the vet. I'll be keeping an eye on him tonight, though.

Here we go....

My very first blog! I hope this works! I finally got a computer so I can do this at will now. Blogging at work wasn't exactly optional.